Sometimes Sweet Is Too Sweet

My stomach hurts. I ate dessert allllllll day. I guess that's my fault, but give me some credit for sacrificing my body for the sake of research.


Before I get to the desserts, I'll just mention the few and far between savory items I ate today. We reverted back to an old classic, shrimp with butter. The shrimp were literally brought in fresh from the fish market next door, I saw it happen before my very eyes. We asked for five shrimp, and then voila! Five shrimp were handed to the waiter from the fish seller's cart 20 feet down the road. Ahh, the perks of living in a country where the people work with their hands.

The shrimp were fresh and tasty, but the real kicker was the dipping sauce. It wasn't just butter this time, but when we asked the waiter what the secret was, he just kept repeating "olive pepper" over and over again. If you know what "olive pepper" means, please let me know. My reasonably astute powers of deduction led to me to believe that the sauce was a mixture of olive oil, butter and some sort of pepper paste or seasoning. Obviously, to come to that conclusion, I had to taste it multiple times, so after the shrimp ran out (ran out sounds more passive than "I ate all of it", doesn't it?) I used the sauce to cover my bread.. my eggplant... my life... It was good. I'm going to try to make it at home using some serious experimental trial and error.

Mystery sauce

Today I also experienced the pervasive Turkish casserole. One was a mixture of shrimp, mushrooms, tomato, and peppers. The second was chicken, eggplant, tomato and peppers. Both were completely covered in melted cheese for a nice chewy gooey feeling. They were sizzling when they arrived, and the cheese just seeped into every morsel. The omeletes I've been eating every morning have used a cheese that doesn't melt well, so it was clumpy and really strong. This cheese just blended.

Once I played a game where you were given two options (say, chips or crackers) and then you had to eliminate one and move the winner on to the next round (say, chips or peanut butter?). I think cheese made it to the final round, where it was eventually trumped by "love". Ok, cheese vs. love, I guess love has the advantage. But still- power to cheese, man.

And now on to the dessert portion of this evening's presentation. But first something interesting I learned while we went golfing yesterday. In Turkey, the candy business consists of four categories: chocolate, candy, gum and the Ramadan season. Apparently, the three days after the end of Ramadan are the highest selling days for sweets in the whole country. Everyone has been missing their desserts, and so everyone gives them to each other as gifts. The companies spend months preparing their inventory, shipping to the stores, storing the merchandise and advertising, all in preparation for those three days.

Anyway, Turkish deserts, to the best of my knowledge, are founded on honey and nuts. I tried to venture beyond that, but when it really got down to it, those ingredients were everywhere and the actual best. My dad, whos not into the whole baklava scene, ordered a safe cheesecake-like thing with cherries on top, but the center had a coffee filling (cheesecake, coffee, and cherries? I don't think so.) Not a huge hit.

I also tried to stay away from the classics, just for the sake of adventure. I tried this pudding thing, which I think might be called "muhallebi". It had no taste, a gross thick gloppy texture, and just wasn't worth it. I had two bites and moved on.

Then I tried the sweet bread with honey and cream. The cream was the same cream as was in last night's apricots, this thick condensed heavy cream that makes you feel at least a hundred pounds heavier after every bite. The crew team is going to fire me when I get back to school, or at least heavily restrict my diet, I'm telling you. This dessert was good, but I couldn't eat more than a few bites because honey started crawling through my veins, slowing down my system, and leaking out of every one of my pores. Was that too much? I'm trying to convey the intensity of the honey. I'm still sticky.

And now the moment you've all been waiting for, the baklava. Baklava seems to come in two flavors, walnut or pistachio, and then beyond that the differences between each kind relies on size, shape and amount of dough. I tried four different kinds and decided I like the walnut ones, heavy on the dough. Baklava is a really good dessert, especially as a topper to a meal because they're not too big or too heavy. But it's easy to get carried away: they come on huge trays and each bite goes by too quickly, so it's temping to order a hundred. Especially because you can eat them anyway you want. In bites. In sections. Top down. Across. Upside down. On your head. On the road. With a fork. GO CRAZY, MAN, ITS BAKLAVA. You have to play with the cultural staples, otherwise they'd just get boring.

Ohhhh the joy of a crumbly inside and honey coated fingers

And now, if I never eat dessert again, that's all right with me.

So here's what I don't understand about Turkish food. I've been here for three days and I'm already sort of sensing a pattern. The food is all the same everywhere. Restaurants on any given strip all serve the same thing, and even the different foods all consist of the same ingredients. The next time I overdose on butter, oil, nuts, or honey, it will still be too soon. How do these people not get bored? Where are their extensive take out menus from every ethnicity? Don't they want something thats not a kebab every once in a while?

I've already had enough Turkish food. At least until tomorrow.